Friday Confessions: N to the O to the No B.O.

Keeping with my tradition of honesty, I will tell you that I rarely wear deodorant. Now hear me out folks. I don’t stink, and there are many people in my life who would tell me if I did. I find that I just don’t need the stuff. I know there are some who do, men (or women with armpit hair) to be specific, but generally I think deodorant is a big fat farce. I mean we all have our own natural personal smell, a mixture of pheromones, earth, wind, and fire. This scent can’t be covered up with an armpit spread so why even try. I rarely wear perfume too because I think this world is too perfumey as it is. Does this make me a hippie? Did I just confess that I’m a closet hippie?

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy a good scent just as much as I enjoy a good piece of chocolate. In fact, I’ve been known to spray my pillow at night with a refreshing lavender vanilla mist. It soothes my weary soul, and drives the Husband nuts (when I accidentally spray some in his face). Deodorant, however, doesn’t really have a pleasing smell, especially when mingled with sweat and body odor. Would that be considered an oxymoron? De-odor = odor. Yes I think so.

When I was younger, early adolescence, around the time a young woman starts to go through changes, starts shaving her legs and armpits, begs her mom for a training bra, notices her sweat smells like salsa or peanut butter or something else you would put on a chip or cracker (that’s not just me was it?), starts sneaking the deodorant from her parent’s bathroom . . . this is when I was first introduced to the wide world of products geared towards making me think I stunk. And maybe I did. I used to sweat a lot in the under arm area. It was insane. Nothing worked. Then a friend suggested this product. It worked. For certain.

Then as I got older I somehow just stopped sweating as much. This could have something to do with the fact that I avoid exercise and hot temperatures like I would Neil Diamond. Or maybe it’s because I’ve become super diligent about keeping my armpits a no hair zone. Or maybe it’s because I weaned myself off deodorant since it was in fact causing the sweat. I’m sure it’s a combination of all three.

I do, however, sweat like the 4th of July if I’m nervous. Public speaking, playing Guesstures, shopping for pants . . . in these situations I will apply a coat of deodorant, just in case I become off-putting. Typically I go for something I’ve used since I was a teenager. Not even sure they make this kind anymore. I've had it for awhile.

But more recently this kind so I can feel more mature and up-to-date.

So go ahead, look in my medicine cabinets. You will find deodorant there, collecting dust. But it’s there just in case.

Hey at least I didn't confess to not brushing my teeth because I don't like them to be all slippery, like some famous person did. Hope you all have a dry and pleasant smelling weekend.