The day I always knew would come--it was worse than expected

I had the following conversation with Bosco today. Bless my mommy heart, I’m having serious palpitations. I must preface this by telling you that Bosco has decided that the letter ‘D’ is too difficult to say so he’s replacing it with the letter ‘F’, but only for the word duck. Every other ‘D’ word is fine though. Dump truck is still a dump truck. And dog is still a dog. Go figure.

A conversation between mother and son:

Me: So what’s your favorite animal? A monkey? A duck?

B: No, I don’t like *ucks

Me: Um, what did you just say?

B: *ucks. I don’t like *ucks

Me: It’s pronounced duck with a D not an F. You know that.

B: No I don’t like to say duck with a D. It’s too hard. I want to say it with a F, fffffffffffff *ucks

Me: Why is ‘F’ easier to say than ‘D’? Bosco if you say it like that then it sounds like a bad word. Say it the right way.

B: No. No way. Mommy do you like *ucks?

Me: (Trying to stifle the laughter because am I really having this conversation? And trying to decide if I should make this an issue) Sure. I like ducks.

B: *uck. *uck *uck. I like the sound of that

Me: Bosco don’t say it that way.

B: (singing) lalalalala *UCK!

Me: Alright. Stop it.

B: No you stop it! Shush up!

My three-year old saying a curse word by accident, can’t really do much about it. Him telling me to shush up, I was all over that in a hot second. Lucky for me he made that mistake too because I was about to totally bust a gut and break rule number one in child discipline: NEVER BREAK CHARACTER.

If you are ever in the presence of the delightful Bosco please do not bring up the topic of ducks, at least for the next few months. Thanks. This mother has had enough ducks with an ‘F’ to last me until doomsday or foomsday.