Portraits of Yesteryear: There was no disco ball. But there was a baby.

I am now accepting congratulations, seeing as how I am officially an auntie! And as I said before, now officially a million years old. Yay me! I guess my sister could use some felicitations as well, but this is my blog so I reap the benefits, not her. Besides, she has a brand new cute cuddly baby GIRL. And she won’t have to worry about tending to baby male genitalia. Life should be easy breezy, with whip cream on top.

Whenever someone I know has a baby, first thing I do is wait anxiously to hear the birth story. Every wonderful, gory, embarrassing detail. That’s right. I enjoy myself a good birth story. And second, I reminisce about my own birth stories.

So I thought it fitting that this week’s Portraits of Yesteryear be brought to you by Bosco, who made it necessary for me to push a human being out of my body one very awe-inspiring morning, making me a mama for the very first time.

There’s just so much going on in this photo. I love it. Doesn’t it just look like a party was going on? Please allow me to explain some of the lovely little vignettes.

First you have me, right in the center, bent over in labor pains I think. It was either that or really bad gas. Eh. Who can be sure really? Anyway, I’m stoically taking on the contractions like a wussy warrior. The hospital gown suited me very well. Absolutely loved the little peek-a-boo shoulder design. But the socks? The socks were just so heinous. I had to wear them because my water had broken and everything was getting wet. I had to put them on for fear that I would slip on my own womb water. I also walked around while dragging that white towel underneath my feet. See it? Yeah that thing was soaking wet.

Then you have the brave concerned Husband standing next to me. He was trying to talk me into my happy place. A place I had predetermined so I could immediately feel some relaxation. It probably comes as no surprise that it was a place I’m sure exists somewhere in the green vastness of Ireland. The Husband was also rubbing tennis balls on my back. How do you like them apples? I liked them very much.

Then front and center you have my Mama. Cringing. She was probably feeling my pain. Or maybe she was well aware of her daughter’s personality and was afraid that at any moment that crazy redhead of hers would snap and kick the Husband in the stomach. I can’t pretend like the thought didn’t cross my mind, only it wasn’t the stomach I intended to aim for. I held myself together though. Oh but Mother was so worried! Sweet really.

Then in the back you have my Fadder. He was checking out the machine that showed my contractions. Every so often I would hear him say quietly, “Looks like your about to have a big one.” And all I could do was nod because I was in the middle of the big one. The Husband eventually gravitated over there too, checking out the monitor. I don’t know why the guys were so interested in that machine. If they wanted to know when and how strong a contraction was, all they had to do was look at my face and hear the oh for the love’s coming out of my mouth.

And finally there’s the person taking the picture. You can’t see her of course but it was my Sister #3, the very same one who just had a baby. She must not have been too traumatized because a few years later she went out and decided to have a labor all her own.

Is it crazy that I had a large portion of my family in the labor room with me? It sort of just happened that way. I really didn’t mind it. I thought I would. But I didn’t. Because quite honestly at some point, in my mind anyway, I was the only person in that room. I’m such a narcissist, I know.

What about you reader? Have any birth stories you’d like to share with a birth story junkie? And if you don’t have any of those, how about a chocolate story? I’m a choco-story junkie as well.