Density

What does a smart, well intentioned person do with one whole extra hour that suddenly comes into existence out of pure magic mixed with a little silliness (I mean let’s be honest for one brief moment. Does anyone really treasure with their whole soul the wonder that is Daylight Savings Time? Surely the answer cannot be yes.)

As one of those smart, well intentioned peoples I planned to put that one whole “extra” hour, that is rooted in monkey business but who am I to refuse it, aside and devote it to sleep, guiltless sleep. So Saturday morning I relished in the thought of tricking my body and mind into acquiring one whole hour of newly conjured up time. But as is my custom, by the time Saturday night rolled around, the thought of pushing the clock back one hour had completely escaped my remembrance.

I went to bed at my regular time (if there even is such a thing for a recovering insomniac). I slept peacefully throughout most of the night, now that everyone’s nasal passages were on the mend. I guess there was that whole episode where I dreamt a raccoon was attacking me and trying to eat off my legs. In the dead of sleep I screamed out loud and woke up the Husband. It was just all so real! Boo hoo. Anyway, he asked me if I wanted to cuddle, and I responded how I usually do when I’m sleepy. No way! I’m tired! I am not a pleasant person if my sleep cycle gets interrupted. Sorry Husband but you know this about me.

But other than that little hiccup, I slept like a baby. My body had no idea what time it was, and my mind had simply forgotten that a change was supposed to occur. Ignorance can be bliss. It can also create panic because panic is exactly what I felt approximately two minutes after waking up in the morning. I spent the first minute wondering why I felt oddly rested. I spent the second minute trying to clear the brain haze and remember what day it was.

When I realized it was Sunday, the clock said 8:53 A.M, and church started at 9:00 A.M. that’s when I really got angry. How dare the Husband, my human alarm clock, allow us to sleep in? And where was the Husband? Surely not next to me. I’m not that blind without my contacts. Something was abnormal here. Usually he’s pestering me to get my butt in gear because I am not and never will be a morning person. And yes I’m still oblivious to the real time.

I decided that either the Husband had been abducted by aliens or I was still sleeping. Because there is no way in the devil’s homeland that the Husband would let this happen . . . nope. It had to be one of those two options. So I decided to sleep some more. And in my sleep I decided that I didn’t care if we were late to church. GASP! Heathen. This was heathen sleep is what it was. And this thought led me to sleep-think about George McFly who dreamt that a Spaceman came to him in his sleep and told him to ask Lorraine out on a date or the Spaceman would melt his brain. This thought obviously then led to the thought of chocolate milk.

And then to the thought of time travel . . . going back in time. By george then lightning struck my brain! Sure did take long enough. But I like to think of it like this. I'm so smart I can have epiphany's in my sleep.

And that is how I spent my extra hour. Just as planned.