Push people over if need be

Well now that I’ve stuffed myself to the brim with mashed potatoes and gravy, I’m ready to get into the Christmas spirit.

This week we have our first Christmas party to attend. If any of you should find yourself at the Husband’s work dinner party you will probably want to get your hands on the white elephant gift lovingly wrapped in Sesame Street themed paper.

Why? Because inside you will find joy beyond measure. Please allow me to elaborate on what exactly awaits the lucky one who snatches our present.

A small, delicate berry red pouch constructed of the finest genuine velvet-like felt material. Complete with golden drawstring capabilities. Hand stitched solid gold threading displays the timeless message of “YOU'VE BEEN NAUGHTY”

Inside, the gift recipient will find not one, but two large lumps of coal.

A fossil fuel lover’s dream come true. No worries about black smudges though as these coal bits are purely imitation. They will last for years to come.

Carefully constructed by residents of China and sent straight to you.

Perfect for that special someone or business associate/fellow nerd.

Please note: For ages 7 and up.

Like I said. You’ll probably want to do everything in your power to get the gift we’re bringing (It was either this or re-gift the frog that dances to “I’m Just a Love Machine” we brought home last year.)